- Five Signs that You've Lost Yourself (and Your Integrity) in Your Relationship | HuffPost
- Five Signs that You've Lost Yourself (and Your Integrity) in Your Relationship
- I Can Do Bad All By Myself Script
- See a Problem?
- ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
Dear Haunted,. Shame is the opposite of art. When you live inside of your shame, everything you see is inadequate and embarrassing. A lifetime of traveling and having adventures and not being tethered to long-term commitments looks empty and pathetic and foolish, through the lens of shame. Your face is aging. Your body will only grow weaker.
Your mind is less elastic. Your time is running out.
Shame turns every emotion into the manifestation of some personality flaw, every casual choice into a giant mistake, every small blunder into a moral failure. You can run your hands along your own self-defeating edges until you get a splinter, and you can pull the splinter out and stare at it and consider it. Even as your job is slow and dull and pointless, even as your afternoons alone feel treacherous and daunting, you can train your eyes on the low-hanging clouds until a tiny bit of sunlight filters through.
You are alive and you will probably be alive for many decades to come. The numbers on your credit-card statements can feel harrowing, but you can take that feeling and keep it company instead of letting it eat you alive. You can walk to the corner store to buy a newspaper and pull out the weekend calendar section and circle something, and make a commitment to do that one thing. Because instead of running away from the truth, you welcome it in. You work with what you have. I find it very hard, even now, to do the hard things that I need to do in order to feel good. I slip into bad habits easily, without noticing, and my worldview suffers for it.
I know exactly which good practices will fuel me and make me wake up to the world around me. You get to travel and meet new people. But there are aspects of it that feel a little corrosive. Too much focus on the self, on presentation, on sales numbers, on whether or not your work matters. But Less is also a story about shame. You never really did. Shame creates imaginary worlds inside your head. No one else can see it, so you keep trying to describe it to them.
Do yourself a favor and leave me behind. But my mistakes and experiences and choices brought me to this moment. When I drag them into the light, I feel better. This is where I can begin. Today, I have countless chances to reinvent and rework and reorder myself and my experience. You do, too. I can figure out some way to make one true connection, to do one hard thing, to savor one moment. So can you. You feel like you have very little time left.
Five Signs that You've Lost Yourself (and Your Integrity) in Your Relationship | HuffPost
But your concept of yourself makes no sense. You got it from a rom-com. Age 35 is not an expiration date on your beauty or your worth. If you want to build a life with a partner, and have a more satisfying career, and maybe have children, you need to treat yourself like a treasured child starting today. If you had a daughter who was 35 years old and felt like all of her traveling and moving was a giant mistake that embodied everything BAD and shortsighted about her, what would you tell her?
Learn to treat yourself the way a loving older parent would. Tell yourself: This reckoning serves a purpose. Your traveling served a purpose. The film opens with April Taraji P. Henson , a self-centered, alcoholic singer, performing at a nightclub where she works.
Five Signs that You've Lost Yourself (and Your Integrity) in Your Relationship
They tell her that their only other relative is their Aunt April. April puts Sandino in her basement and wants to lock him down there because she doesn't know him that well. While working around the house, Sandino surprises April by cleaning himself up. When Randy arrives, he sees April with the kids and Sandino and heckles him while making subtle advances at Jennifer.
Shortly afterward, Pastor Brian and Wilma Gladys Knight , a church member, come to inform April that her mother Rose died from a fatal brain aneurysm while riding on a city bus. April is devastated by the news and seeks comfort from Randy; however, he is sleeping and shrugs her off. Later, Sandino comforts April as she tells him about her mother's death and the last time she spoke with her.
I Can Do Bad All By Myself Script
Shortly afterwards Jennifer, Manny, and Byron return to April's after searching for their grandmother and April dejectedly tells them the news. Depressed, Jennifer goes to Madea wanting to know how to pray. However, Madea, inexperienced with prayer, attempts to instruct her in a scene that plays out comically. The same night, Tanya Mary J. Blige , the nightclub bartender, sings " I Can Do Bad ". Before singing the song, Tanya strongly confronts April about her attitude.
See a Problem?
She says that April must change her selfish ways and think about the safety of Byron, Manny and Jennifer. Over time, Sandino and April become good friends, and Sandino fixes a ruined bedroom in her house. This makes Manny and Byron happy, but upsets Jennifer, who feels April does not want them there. While on a date, Sandino tells April he doesn't understand why she is with Randy and asks if she loves Randy. He tells her what true love is to him.
One Sunday morning, Sandino eagerly knocks on April's bedroom door to get April ready for church, but Randy threatens to hurt Sandino if he continues to spend time with April. Late the next night, Manny needs his insulin shot, and Jennifer goes to the kitchen to get it. As she prepares the shot, Randy approaches and attempts to rape her, but Sandino fights him off.
Maybe you just need to be honest with yourself? In fact, before I formed the opinion that for most people, tertiary education is a waste of time and money — I thought I wanted to get a university degree. My teachers at school told me to get one, my parents wanted me to get one and my peers told me I needed one to get a job. Sue me. My guess is establishing a career in your home town is more important to you. Maybe knocking off at 5pm and forgetting about work on the weekends is much higher priority.
‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
But not having the credit card debt is a much higher priority to me at this point in time. So here I am driving a frigging turbo diesel VW Golf. Get out your pen and paper or your Trello and begin compiling your Someday Maybe List.